jetlag

4 am and I can't sleep. What else is new? I've anticipated that this December will be a challenge jetlag-wise. In a span of a month, I will be doing an around the world Belfast - London - Manila - California - London - Paris. I'm not even trying to get my body clock right

 Had a very nice evening with my sibs — finally dragged my bro to the store to get him some proper shoes. We tried shirts too but nothing fit. Apprarently, people are people only do nothing more than one X(L).

Almost home…wherever home is

A couple of more days and this chapter will end I'm finally finishing my stint in Belfast, where I've lived for 2 years and 3 months. I am thrilled to leave — not to say that I did not learn a lot in my time here. I know when a place cannot be called home. I don’t belong here.

Paris awaits next year. I am starting anew, constantly rediscovering myself and wondering what my beliefs will be in a years’ time. It’s unbelievable how so much can change in a year. Travel can change you. It will challenge your identity; force you to make a stand for who you are, where you came from and who you want to be. The past two years has been an absolute journey and shatters all judgment and prejudice.

I won't be going back to Manila as often as before, maybe now only once or twice a year. I just want to take away as much as I can from this incredible opportunity. I know I have to establish myself elsewhere and I can't do that if I keep referring to Manila as my home. It’s now YOUR turn to come visit where I live and work.

Finding place of Release

At the Temple of Zeus in Athens, this tombstone read quite simply "Finding place of release". I do not know if it was meant  for the deceased or for those he left behind.

The reality of death — a slow free-fall of acceptance. The past month has been incredibly difficult and life-changing (as all difficult things go). A few unexpected turn of events proved that time is a puzzle carefully crafted, slowly revealing its face.

It is heartbreaking. Knowing that you want to give more, but can't…ever.

It was the first time that funerals made sense to me. It was the release of giving it your best and last shot, that in the remotest instance that they might be aware of your efforts, you can tell them one last time how much you love them and how much you'll miss them.

I'll stop now. It is too early for me to write about acceptance and release.

please…

I hope everything falls into place today.

What if

Life is funny. It keeps you guessing, like a good detective novel. On the edge of your seat for the next chapter. Whodunnits, whys and whens. Hard to tell, really. Events have kept me sleepless some nights and giddy the next.

It can drive you insane.

I guess this is why we invented faith. I like faith. Hope is too sunny – but Faith is acceptable to a worrywart like me. Things that are bound to happen will happen, no matter how much you plan ahead. There really are no ‘bad’ decisions, just forks in the path that bring you to where you should be at the moment.

So really, there is no reason to worry and plan for the worst case. There is always a plan B for the worst case. You can always move on.